Fuck 2010

I was frantically driving my 2005 Saturn Vue down Central Expressway.  I left work at 4:45pm after arriving at 5:00am—and I had 15 minutes to pick my daughter up from school, which was 20 minutes away.  This place should pay me more—god knows I deserve it, but god doesn’t owe me shit.

On my way, I couldn’t stop thinking that: it’s March 30—April rent is $1,200, but I only have $1,000 in my account.  It’s Monday—I don’t get paid until Thursday.  Fuck! Maybe the landlord won’t cash the check until Friday.  Insufficient fund fee is $45, and that equates to groceries for a week.  Will I go hungry?  Will my baby’s mama know I can’t keep the fridge stocked?

Why would she care anyway?  She cashes the $700/month child support check while living with her insurance salesman boyfriend, driving around in a car that’s in my name.

Damn.

What if she stopped making payments?  I got myself into a pickle.

Every light turned red as I was approaching—I was stricken with panic.  The light I was most concerned about was the gas light.  Yeah, it was on.  I had enough gas for 10 miles but had to go 11—will I be stuck on the side of the road while my daughter wonders where I am?

Phew.  I made it to her school.

I didn’t run out of gas, and my landlord cashed the check on Friday.  My baby’s mama made her car payments on time, and things worked out ok.

Breathe.

2010 was a fucked up year—and that thought process was a weekly occurrence for me…but you know what?  It makes me appreciate everything I have right now.

I haven’t had insufficient funds in quite a while—I’ll appreciate that fact today, because I don’t know what tomorrow has in store.  You know?  Don’t forget the hard times because a good memory helps you savor the better times.

 

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