March 2016

March is going to be a big month.

I signed a lease for a two bed, two bath condo with my girlfriend Ly.  It’s a beautiful little condo and Lila will have her own room, and bathroom—she is excited.  Ly and Lila get along well—and I know Ly is going to be a great role model for my baby girl.

I think about my future with Ly often—and I think we connect well because she is very mature, independent, practical (like me) and intelligent.  She doesn’t take my shit—but I offer a lot less of it these days.

I feel I can tell her anything, be completely honest, without worrying about her getting too emotional.  We understand each-other—I feel that she gets me more so than any other woman I’ve been with.

I’m trying my best, in my current relationship, to apply what I learned in past relationships.  I want Ly and I to work out and I’m tired of making the same mistakes over and over again.  I feel that I’m a more patient and balanced individual than I was two years ago—but there’s still a long way to go.  One thing I’ve been practicing, which is sometimes difficult, is keeping my big mouth shut when I’m not in a good mood.

I’m thinking more before I speak, and not creating unnecessary animosity with those around me.  In the past, if I wasn’t having a great day or feeling well–I would make abrupt comments, or sometimes grunt in frustration—maybe roll my eyes.  I would pretty much take my frustration out on those I love—and that just isn’t the right thing to do.  Is the newfound maturity all attributed to my sobriety?  No.  But a clear mind has helped me reflect on how to be a better person.  The time I would usually spend drinking and ignoring my arrogance is now spent working toward becoming a better person, father, boyfriend, son and uncle.

At the end of April I will celebrate two years free of alcohol.  At this point, despite occasional urges, I can’t imagine having another drink.  Shit, I had enough booze between the ages of 25-32 to last a lifetime.  The other day I thought about having a beer, just one—that one turned into a vision of ten empty beer cans sitting on the counter, and the mental fog that used to follow me around all day returning.

No way.  No thank you.

2016 is already flying by—and I’m grateful that this year has so far been filled with love, happiness and new beginnings.

Much love.

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