Worry Less, Be Honest More

I wish everyday was like today.  Lila woke up before I did–she was in a great mood, dressed herself for school, ate all of her breakfast and went along with the morning routine flawlessly.  I have noticed lately that i’m much less stressed/rushed getting ready in the morning.  I pushed back the time we leave the house by fifteen minutes, because honestly, I was rushing us out of the door for no reason.  I was creating unnecessary stress due to my pointless fear of being late.  The funny part is, I still get to work early even-though we leave fifteen minutes later.  Also, assuming I have to do everything for Lila, like dress her, is a thing of the past.  I lay her uniform out–and she dresses herself–even combs her own hair.  She is capable, and has been for a while of doing things on her own–and as a parent, I have to respect and appreciate that fact.  It feels nice removing yet another stressor from our lives–and i’m proud of Lila for continuing to prove how independent she can be.  She truly teaches me more than I can ever teach her.

Work went well–I have been extremely productive and am managing multiple projects.  My manager is happy with my work, and i’m happy being there–and love the policy team.  We laugh together, support each-other and are starting to spend time with one another outside of work.  I can’t believe that this time last year, I had a hard time dragging my miserable ass out of bed by 9am–and now i’m already a few hours into my day by that time.  It feels good to have a clear mind.  Alcohol made me all foggy and zombie-ish.

I am going to spend the night at my friend, Sara’s.  I blogged about her in a recent post–and was again pointlessly worried because she has a friend that is best buddies with my ex, Katie.  Well, I simply decided to be honest with Sara about my past with drinking and poor decisions–I blog a lot about being honest now that i’m sober–figured I should practice what I preach.  She was grateful that I was honest–and is more interested in the person I am now–not the old Leif.  Honesty really is the best policy–and I plan on continuing to implement that policy in every aspect of my life.  I am becoming less afraid to admit my past mistakes–especially after people get to know the real me…not the me that was corrupted by alcohol, riddled with stress and anti-social.

Today, I felt what I believe is true happiness.  I yearn to feel this way more consistently, with the understanding that the inevitable trials and tribulations will periodically surface.  At least I can deal with them in a sensible way–without alcohol.

Have a blessed day.

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