Six Months–Roller Coasters and Transitions

It has officially been six months since my last drink–and I have a brand new appreciation for life.  Lila and I started the day by going to her soccer game, and in the past, I would be devising a plan to pick up booze during the third quarter of her game.  What should I drink?  How do I buy the most time this afternoon to maximize my drinking time?  I would’ve been drunk by the time she woke up from her nap–and the rest of the day/evening I would’ve been lethargic–almost zombie like.  Instead, after her game, we went to Spina Farms–a cool place in San Jose that during the month of October has a pumpkin patch, hay-rides, petting zoos and horse rides.  We went there and had a fun couple of hours.  I didn’t once think about stopping by the store to purchase alcohol–I instead thought about how much fun we’ll have this evening going out for pizza and checking out a movie.  Lila and I love going to the movies.

I also thought about starting my new job on Tuesday.  I am quite nervous–mostly excited.

I was decorating our apartment the other day–you know, for the fall/halloween time of year.  I couldn’t help but think of Katie–and how we decorated the house we used to live in for the last three years.  I mostly moved on from that part of my life–however, I miss the good times we shared…i’d still like to believe, despite all of the negative words said to me, that we did in fact share many good times together. I have been thinking about her more the past few weeks–and I pray that those thoughts diminish.  The saddest thing is thinking of someone and realizing they probably aren’t thinking of you. I know getting through the holidays will be tougher than I initially anticipated–but i’ll trudge through the pain because, hey, even if it hurts at least I can feel again.  It feels so good to feel–as absurd as that sounds, it’s true.  I loved–I still feel it in my heart–that is something special that not everyone can say.

2014 has been a year of transition–filled with ups and downs like roller coasters at a theme park.  I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach from the downs–and the nervousness/anticipation of the ups…hearing the clinking of the chain as it slowly pulls the coaster cars to the peak. I’m turning new corners–and I can’t say exactly what the future holds, but at least I don’t worry myself into a drunken stupor anymore.  I have to try my best always–do the right thing, and just have faith that whatever happens was truly meant to be.  I firmly believe that “my meant to be” will have a happy ending.  At least without alcohol I am giving myself the best chance possible.

Cheers to six months sober–and here’s to the next six months ahead. If you’re with me on this journey–we are going to do this.  I have no doubt.

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