My daughter didn’t realize, but yesterday her and I celebrated 90 days without alcohol disrupting our life. We took a long walk and stopped at the local department store because I promised to buy her a toy. I ended up spending four dollars on a collection of small animal figurines–and you would’ve thought I bought her the hottest and most expensive toy on the market. She had her own little safari on the living room table–elephants were playing with cheetahs, and zebras with lions…a truly confusing, yet magnificent environment. I enjoy the non-tainted perspective of a child–they are just so optimistic and can shed positive light on any situation.
Once dinner-time rolled around I placed her in the tubby/bath, started a load of laundry and began preparing our dinner. It’s comical in a way, the life of a single parent, as we learn how to multitask so well that we don’t even realize we’re doing ten things at one time.
My daughter mentioned Katie several times yesterday–and how she misses her being present in our lives. As you can imagine, it slows down the healing process–in most relationships, you don’t have a five year old constantly reminding you of your ex girlfriend. I just told Lila: “it’s ok to miss Katie–I do too.”
Ninety one days in–and i’m still seeing the positive effects of putting down the bottle. People at work keep saying “wow, did you lose weight?” “you look a lot younger!” I’m not one to be comfortable with compliments–but to me, it represents progress, and that is my main objective currently…continue to make progress.
I wake up each morning and paraphrase the serenity prayer (i’m not religious, it just makes so much sense to me right now):
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The strength to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I can’t change the mistakes I made, and get back the people that I lost. However, each day, I can focus on being a better dad and a healthier, smarter individual. That, I can do.